I Digress: Q & A with SAUDA AZIZA JACKSON, Playwright and Performer
Photo of Sauda Aziza Jackson
BIO
Sauda Aziza Jackson has appeared in many theatre productions during her 20 plus years in New York City. The Chicago native has participated with Little Lord (Now is the Time), International WOW lead by artistic director Josh Fox (Expense of Spirit, Limitless Joy) and Sponsored by Nobody (The Arts (original cast), Behind the Bullseye).
Sauda studied theater at Eastern Illinois University, graduating with a B.A in Theater Arts. She continued on to The Neighborhood Playhouse summer program (Ron Stetson Scene study instructor) and finally matriculated to the MFA program in acting at Brooklyn College (F. Murray Abraham, master class instructor).
Q & A
Shauna Kelly: What theatrical style is I Digress? Why is it called “a performance memoir in progress?” Are you expanding the show?
Sauda Aziza Jackson: I Digress: The Intimate Insights of a Childhood Weirdo, is a one woman show. It’s a memoir in progress because, like my (or anyones) life, it’s always in movement, always changing and we are still figuring pieces to include and the tones of what I want to say. To be fair, I thought it was done when I performed my first reading of it (silly actor)….four years later, I’ve added three new stories and two addendums. So yes, it’s expanding.
SK: What do you like most about the people with whom you choose to collaborate?
SAJ: Well for the piece that I’m writing, I Digress: The Intimate Insights of a Childhood Weirdo …April Sweeney (the director) and Mike Weiss (music director) get “my crazy.” I’m an actor and I just began writing because I was urged to do so by April. I was TERRIFIED because I was like, “if I’m going to write about my experiences I’m going to have to be sooooo honest, which can be uncomfortable.” But we collaborate well and they get me and my music choices, subject matter, and my beat changes sans judgment.
On a side note, this piece didn’t start with music. Once the stories started to take shape, the director suggested adding music. I was apprehensive. I was already way outside of what I was used to and I thought adding another layer like music would be daunting. In the end we brought in a friend who’s an actor and musician and added songs that I loved. My music choices helped the stories through transitions and gave me a slight break (in singing them) to decompress a bit. I chose everything from Elliot Smith to Stevie Wonder. All my favorite tunes, with my own interpretation and our own arrangement. It was one of the smartest moves of the entire project.
We encourage one another. Plus it also helps that we are of the same generation (all in our mid 40's). LOL! Believe it or not it takes on a weird shorthand that is extremely helpful for the process.
SK: How do you go about choosing the projects you take on?
SAJ: Funny. This is interesting because it has started to change over the years. I never understood balance when it came to survival jobs and my creative life. I usually keep a 9 to 5 office job and would squeeze projects into every other crook and corner of my life around that. I would take ANYTHING offered. Looking back, I felt it might be the last thing I might get offered and it was great just to be considered. But as time rolled along, I felt that more thought should go into what I wanted to do. Also having the “oooh, you really want me” look is not cute….I’m not orphan Annie. People enjoy working with me. Once I started absorbing that, stuff changed.
I started working with theater groups (Sponsored by Nobody and Little Lord) of people with the same sensibility about the work and the world. Once you make decisions with like minded individuals……You grow up, you make better informed choices that work for your craft and your life.
SK: What projects are you most proud of and why?
SAJ: This isn’t to take away from other theater projects of my past but the following three pushed me the hardest and helped me change as an actor and a human:
Expense of Spirit (Dir. Josh Fox, International WOW Company)
I was in the group for a couple of years. We all brought different techniques from our experiences: stuff from SITI Company training to Bouffon. We were allowed to develop characters (because this show was from scratch). A lot of what we did was COMPLETELY new to how I’d developed character and plot during rehearsal periods previously. I never forgot the experience and it sent me in a new direction creatively.
The Arts (Dir. Kevin Doyle, Group, Sponsored by Nobody)
This was a journey and a half. The show, The Arts dealt with the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA)- its inception in the 60’s involving, for example, Senator Claiborne Pell and Jackie Kennedy. The NEA blossomed but was subsequently defunded bit by bit over the next 50 plus years. It was a beautiful beast of a subject. It made me really look at how the arts are treated and how it is slowly being defunded by our government.
I Digress: The Intimate Insights of a Childhood Weirdo (personal project)
I always get pushed along by the universe in my life. It seems to know what’s best. In this case, while working on another project a friend (my now director for this) April Sweeney suggested I write all these stories I had been telling about my childhood during breaks in the rehearsals. I had been told before that I should write, but this time it was different. It flowed and our team was magnificent. We’ve been working on it and doing readings since 2017. Now during the pandemic it has become a little more difficult to work on it. We are trying to determine if this can be done (and how) outside of being in person.
SK: What was your calculus in deciding to go to graduate school?
SAJ: Ha-ha. I was told to. I considered applying as I finished up undergrad but didn’t really push myself. I had a visiting professor at my undergrad who attended Brooklyn College (BC) and suggested I apply. Well, actually he found out I spent the previous summer at the Neighborhood Playhouse and heard I had a ball. I took one of my fall theater classes with him and he pushed and pushed. I caved and flew out to New York from Eastern Illinois University to audition. The rest is history. Looking in my rear view mirror, I often wonder what the outcome would have been if I auditioned at a few other institutions in the city. In the end, BC is what I needed.
SK: At what point do you think artists feel accomplished? What has made you feel accomplished and why?
SAJ: Accomplished?! I wish you you could see me right now. I’m giggling like a nut. I logically know there are things that I have accomplished creatively but, it’s such a f***ing shlog!!! You lose a sense of what they are because you really can’t or shouldn’t rest on those accomplishments too long. But I’ll do a quick list of the stuff that really blew my hair back and made me take a moment to say “not bad girl.”
I performed in a festival at The Public theater last summer (never thought I’d be there in ANY capacity). It was a bit difficult. I was sure I tripped up and ruined the little standing I had in the theater community. I cried almost every night after rehearsals. People LOVED it. And really dug me in it. I was slack jawed. Also, writing my show has become my heartbeat and I am gobsmacked that I write now. But it’s so nice to have another outlet for my creativity. Working with the Wow company unleashed so much stuff that I often sat back and wondered after rehearsals, “How did we do that?” Working with the group Little Lord kept me from leaving not just the business but NYC overall. The concepts were fun, the people were odd and warm, and I was on the edge of yes or no……this show pushed me to stay here.
Experimental theater is like twisting a theme, thought, or “rational narrative” into something new…breathing new ideas and angles into old thoughts and ways of doing.
SK: What was it like studying with F. Murray Abraham in his master acting class at Brooklyn College?
SAJ: Truthfully, I don’t even remember. But what I DO remember is the first time cradling his academy award statuette for best actor in the 1984 film, Amadeus. It was heavy. It wasn’t taken care of…..the finish was dull BUT I was touching history, effort, and a moment in time. I held it two seconds longer than I should have so I would never forget the weight of it. I still haven’t forgotten…its part of MY history now. Lol
SK: What are the things that enhance your lifestyle as an actress/playwright in New York?
SAJ: Money. Friends who WHOLEHEARTEDLY support you and your “crazy”…….and those individuals trusting, celebrating and holding you accountable. Example- I told my friend that I had not sent these questions to you yet. She said “you’ve been working on these for months and said you would send these off weeks ago. It’s simply rude at this point. You are smarter and kinder than this. “Do better.” I was so ashamed. She had NEVER said anything like that to me. But she was right and called me on my bullshit and I was glad for it. You need those that support the path you are on. That’s what it’s been for me.
SK: What is your philosophy about why you do what you do in the arts?
SAJ: Years ago I was mean to myself. I told myself I couldn’t do much but I was pretty good at this so THIS is what I’ll do. Years later I now know this is what I was placed here to do. I do the arts because I enjoy thinking outside the box. There’s a level of freedom allowed in this area that’s not always allowed in everyday life.
SK: How do you explain experimental theater to someone who has never seen it?
SAJ: I would say…take a piece of theater you have ever seen and tell yourself you would like to make something from the concept. Take away the issue of what it’s supposed to be or look like. Take away the theme making sense, or having a budget, or simply being theater in a traditional form. It’s more like twisting a theme, thought, or “rational narrative” into something new…breathing new ideas and angles into old thoughts and ways of doing.
. . .
Thank you Sauda!
SK: This is an awesome glimpse into Sauda’s career. This makes me realize the depth and breadth of experimental theater being produced in NY. I thought I knew the scene better than I do. It’s inspiring to see even the tip of the iceberg of all that Sauda has been involved with over the years. Some people and projects were so worthwhile that she had to stick around NY to be a part of it. It’s insightful to hear how her standards for choosing projects and her self-critique evolved as her career went on. It seems like she has done a brilliant job of finding new challenges that scare her and tackling them while simultaneously in shock that she’s doing the things she hadn’t even dared to to think possible.
Originally published at https://www.framedperformances.com on September 15, 2020.
